Reality Check 

I’m a horse’s ass. 

Well, not exactly. Actually, worse. 

Whilst scrolling through Facebook the other morning, I noticed that a friend had posted the result of a quiz that supposedly analyzed her profile to determine what percentage was a-hole. She was 14%. I’d taken quizzes from this analytical site quite a few times in the past and always marveled at how right-on the results seemed to be. I clicked “analyze me” without a second thought.

 
Moments later I sat in disbelief. I couldn’t believe it was saying 74%!

Internally, I went ballistic. How could that be right? Denial. Shock. Anger. From 0 – 100 in a few seconds. I quickly realized that I hadn’t blown a gasket like this in a long, long time, and it actually scared me. Thank God the emotion didn’t last too long. Almost as quickly came the antidote: divine intervention in the form of acceptance. It was like a bolt of lightning. 

I had to be honest with myself and admit that I could be an a-hole. Hard as it was to admit at first, it turned out to be the first step toward freedom. The floodgates opened. The blinders were off. I saw more instances than I cared to admit of me acting in the same negative ways as my mother did. Even though she’s been long deceased, I still have resentments. All the things I hated about about her and swore I’d never be, I had become. I finally understood that what we dislike in others are the very things we dislike in ourselves. 

I couldn’t swear to it, but I think I had a catharsis last week. I surprised myself when I thought, “I need to change. I don’t want to be like this anymore.” 

This all happened in the days between Christmas and New Years. 1/1. What better time to turn over a new leaf! One day at a time I can choose to use any one of a number of spiritual tools–prayer, meditation, service, gratitude, boundaries–to help get me through each 24-hour-chunk. I’m powerless over everything except how I’ll react in any given situation. I can pro-act instead of re-act. 

Now I know why I had always liked the results of personality quizzes in the past: they were usually positive. Unexpected negative results can be so painful! Seeing the honest truth about our self takes guts, but that’s what it takes to catapult some of us into action that ultimately makes for a better human being. 

Somewhere along this unmarked journey lies our purpose. “Be renewed in the spirit of your minds,” the disciple Paul told the Ephesians (4:23.) What better time than today to make changes for the better? This is, after all, the first day of the rest of our lives. 


Comments

Reality Check  — 1 Comment

  1. Love this post. From one a-hole to another….I love you dear friend!

    What I love about you is your walk to always be and do better.

    Happy New Year….we have 365 days to write a new story…let’s make it the best ever!

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