Transformations

It’s been a week since coming back from vacation and normalcy returned all too quickly. We’re back to taking care of our grandkids whilst their dad works and their mom runs the brewery. Spring cleaning projects have been identified and begun. I even cut the grass in the backyard for the first time this season.

Still, I can’t help but reflect on certain things that I either saw or heard while on vacation, which happened to be the best one we’ve ever had, by the way. Ever. I’m more aware of things these days, and I’m remembering them, too, which I find remarkable since I still have the hardest time remembering what I did with my glasses or my keys. For one reason or another, certain things make an impression.

Take, for instance, the precious luna moth laying on the asphalt ground at the gas station we stopped at in Georgia on our way back from the beach. I’m surprised I didn’t step on her and smush her as soon as I got out of the truck. There she stayed all the while I cleaned the windshield, which took some time. Fueling up the truck took much longer, and yet, she stayed.

I read that such daytime encounters are indeed fortunate since moths are nocturnal creatures. What I felt most grateful about was that she was patient enough to let me take quite a few photos of her.

Refueling completed, we prepared to leave, but I was concerned for her safety, and shooed her out of the fueling bay.  Of course, where she went after that was not up to me. That’s another thing that’s changed in me–letting go of situations over which I have no control. It’s becoming easier. If I had tried to catch her or force her to go where I thought she should go, I might’ve killed her. Now I know that letting go is a choice, and when practiced (however reluctantly), can be very, very liberating.

I’d nearly forgotten about the beautiful and dainty creature until yesterday. Part of my daily routine is listening to podcasts, and one of my favorites is The Recovery Show. When I brought it up to listen to the other day, I put 2 and 2 together: I knew I had seen that moth before…it’s part of the show’s logo! Immediately I thought, “This is a God-wink.” And then when I pulled up the website to take a screen shot for this post, I saw that Spencer (the host) had put my photo up! Another God wink. ?


Years ago, a friend who’s part Native American Indian got me interested in animal totems, and ever since then I’ve been sensitive to repeated appearances of animals in my life.

The transformation a moth goes through before reaching adulthood takes it through some harrowing changes: egg, then caterpillar, then chrysalis. It can’t be easy or comfortable.

There’s a lot of symbolism attached to moths, like optimism, good listening skills, and motivation, things I strive towards. They also symbolize the attraction to lighter things–and I think of how much humor and laughter play an integral part of my recovery and general well-being.

Luna moths live but only a week, and their sole  purpose is to reproduce in that short amount of time. In the big scheme of things, my journey is just as brief, and I can see how all those qualities would grately enhance it. The awakening continues the wider I open my eyes.


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