I said I’d be there. 

A local church in my town is sponsoring a five-week study of “The Shack,” a best selling book-turned-movie about change and forgiveness, and the first session was this past Tuesday. I’m not even sure about how I learned of it, to tell you the truth; I used to attend service there, but not anymore. Still, I have friends that attend, and the pastor, Rev. Paige, holds a special place in my heart, and I dare say that her heart has a special place for me. 

At any rate, one of my friends strongly encouraged me to come to the study (over a series of several days, whick I took to be ‘a sign’) so I said I would, just to end the conversation. And immediately regretted it. That’s how I am about making commitments these days. It’s not that I don’t want to follow through; it’s just that ‘commitment’ seems to contradict living ‘one day at a time.’ But I’m working on it. 

Prior to learning about this opportunity, I’d gone to see the movie one evening with nearly twenty female friends in recovery. Though my turning-away-from-God was not for the same reason as the main character’s, his confusion and conflict about God were feelings that resonated with me. I think everyone, at some time or another, experiences hard times or situations that challenge one’s faith and trust in a higher power. Add grief and sadness and depression to the mix and the result is one confused and extremely angry individual. 


So, basically, the study will be one of theodicy and possibly answer the question of why God permits tragedy, evil, hard times, sickness, pain, extreme sadness, call it what you will–if He wants only the best for us. I have wondered about that. The subject matter is worth pondering and exploring, and Paige will be the perfect facilitator. 

Even though I didn’t feel like going to the study when the time came–it was raining and cold and staying home was much more appealing–I’m glad I went. It was good to see Paige again; our worlds intersect at just the right times, it seems. And in retrospect , I’m grateful my friend insisted I attend the study. It’s true that when the student is ready, the teacher appears. 

At any rate, it will be a learning experience…no doubt in more ways than one, from what I can already tell. It’s undoubtedly speculation on my part, but to have this coincide with spring and Easter–traditional times of regrowth and regeneration–is just icing on the cake.  It’s during the dark times in our lives that we question God’s existence, and need to have the faith, trust, and assurance that in the end, all will be well. And it will. Somehow, someway…


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