Surprise.

The other day while painting the fence in our backyard, this thought popped into my mind: Do the Kardashians have babies so that they have job security? I laughed out loud at the notion, not that I care about the Kardashians, but because it was one of the few ridiculous thoughts I’ve had recently. In twelve weeks, to be exact. That’s how long my family’s “new normal” has been in effect. 

While the whole series of events leading up to it are still somewhat incomprehensible, the fact is that it is what it is and somehow life goes on. We’re left to wonder about so many things, and the truth is that we’ll never know the truth. What is true is that nearly half of my daughter’s life–and a good part of ours, too–has been undermined by lies, and that is only part of the damage she is contending with these days. It’s enough to bring anyone down. 

But not everyone. 

I am more proud of her today than I’ve ever been. Whereas some may have stayed down for the count, I’ve seen the reemergence of the stubbornness, strength, and determination she had as a rebellious teenager channeled in order to keep things running. 

Having the rug pulled out from under her was shocking, heartbreaking, and humiliating, and having to deal with another’s issues and actions on an ongoing basis continues to be emotionally, physically, and mentally draining. Ironically though, the series of onslaughts opened her up to the idea of spiritual help. Unbeknownst to her, she had come to the point of surrender. The pump was primed. 

It is a testament to the spiritual program of Alcoholics Anonymous that she is “how” she is today, and that is to say that she is okay, all things considered. The only way I know how to support her these days comes straight from what I’ve learned in the program. It’s amazing that the right words come at the right time, and that she is receptive. I’ve even thought as they left my mouth, “Where are these words coming from? They are not mine.” That’s how active God’s grace has been throughout the past twelve weeks. Well, in this particular case, anyway; God’s grace is always present, though we’re not always of it. 

She’s not only survived literally, but she’s learning so much. The growth will continue, and it won’t be easy. It never is. But it is worthwhile. After all, life goes on. 

There are, and there will always be, things that we don’t understand the “why” of. And that’s okay. We don’t have to. Philip Yancey said that “faith means believing in advance what will only make sense in reverse.” I guess that’s so, because reflecting on the past twelve weeks makes me grateful for this unforeseen fork in the journey. I predict that someday she will, too. I have faith!


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