Florida is much more than just oranges and palm trees.  Pesky alligators, palmetto bugs (as if giving another name to the largest cockroach makes it loveable) and snakes are put a few of God’s creations that make living in the Sunshine State challenging for some, and terrifying for others.  I am in the latter category.

One Saturday morning in the summer of 2002, I unenthusiastically got out of bed to begin my day.  Not that I’m ever enthusiastic about getting out of bed, but I recall feeling fuzzy that morning.  Anyway, I entered the bathroom the separated our room and DJ’s, opened the toilet lid, and just as I was about to sit down, something that looked very bloated, with EYES, stared and hissed at me!  I slammed down the lid, and ran out in the living room, pants around my ankles, trying to scream for Dave, but nothing was coming out!!!  And I am a loud person.  He appeared in no time flat, and asked what was the matter.  I could not speak.  Instead, I could only point madly to the bathroom, my eyes bugging out of my head, it seemed.

Cautiously, he slipped into the bathroom, and checked the closet.  Nothing.  Nothing in the sink or the tub, leaving only one other place to look.  The toilet.  Guardedly, he raised the lid enough to see the biggest rat he had seen that close! The lid went down with a crash.

Initially thinking he’d go after the rat with a hammer, it occured to him that he had just installed that toilet not too long before, and he hated to crack the bowl.  He opted for a plunger, thinking maybe he could drown or suffocate the rat.  Though wary, he approached the opponent with the calm and confidence of a bomb defuser.  The fight was fast, with the rat furiously thrashing in an attempt to ward off the plunger.  Dave persisted, and soon had the rat subdued.  Thinking he had smothered the rat, Dave let up on the plunger a bit, only to have the rat emerge, more prevoked and enranged than ever!

I remained in the living room, still distressed but less hysterical.  Finally, Dave signaled that the coast was clear, the rat was dead.  Since this all happened right before he was to head to work at West Marine, he took time to call in and report he’d be a little late.  Then, with a net, he scooped up the rat and disposed of it in the Intracoastal.   

I know he had a wonderful time telling this story to his co-workers for days to come, because he told me so.  Evidently, everyone had a good laugh at my expense. 

I was so grateful it was daylight when I initially went into the bathroom.  Typically, until then, I would have used the toilet in the dark.  Can you imagine what might have happened then?!  We are talking PETRIFIED. 

Have I mentioned that I like living in Kentucky?