Being a writing tutor and a teacher of ESL (English as a Second Language) at a local community college makes my ears more fine-tuned than most. This is both a blessing and a curse: it’s a blessing because it helps me communicate to my students clearly and precisely, and it’s a curse because it makes me impatient with Americans who mispronounce relatively easy words. Take, for instance, the words “ask,” “specifically” and “asterisk.” It drives me crazy to hear these words pronounced as “ax,” “pacifically” and “asteriks.”

When I mentioned my annoyance with those who cannot correctly pronounce these words to a colleague, she politely asked (haha…”axed”), “Are you from up north?” Frankly, I find that particular question difficult to answer because Missouri is smack dab in the middle of the United States, hence not actually ‘up north.’ However, in Civil War context–which must be considered when one lives in the south (I live in Kentucky)–the question takes on a whole new meaning. Because Missouri was divided over the issue of slavery, it, along with Maryland, Delaware, and ironically, Kentucky, is technically a “border state.” In this regard, Missouri is kind of like Switzerland. But I digress.

I felt it safe to answer, “I’m from Saint Louis,” therefore putting the ball back in her court, to which she replied, “Good enough.” That’s when I learned that she was from New York, and the commonality of being Kentucky transplants was heartening. Her next comment, though, completely left me perplexed. She said, “Well, here it’s more acceptable to be nice than right.” Say what??? Was my colleague graciously advising me to let it go? I’m sorry, but try as I might, I just can’t.

People need to communicate clearly so that misunderstandings do not result. Miscommunication and misunderstandings cause all kinds of problems and unfortunate situations. People need to communicate clearly in relationships with those at home, in school, in the workplace, in text and email messages, and even on the playing field so that information is interpreted correctly. In the movie, “Blazing Saddles,” the townspeople mistakenly heard, “The sheriff is near,” when instead, it was a very politically incorrect but funny as hell announcement. In the CCDW (carry concealed deadly weapon) class I recently attended, the instructor kept pronouncing “firearm” such that it sounded like “farm.” In both examples, minor confusion was the result. Neither of these situations were particularly significant, but they illustrate how misinterpretations can completely alter a meaning. God help 911 operators and all emergency responders.

Though my friends tease me relentlessly about being a language Nazi, I look for the potential educational value of these intermittent bursts of annoyance I have with affronts to the English language, whether they be mispronunciation, poor grammar, or lack of punctuation (such as in, “Let’s eat, Grandpa” versus “Let’s eat Grandpa.”) Was I surprised to discover that a normal linguistic process called “metathesis” occurs when two sounds or syllables switch places in a word. Furthermore, I was taken aback to learn that /aks/ is not only a common regional pronunciation found not just in the South, but as far north as New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Illinois and Iowa and that the metathesis began sometime in the 14th century.

For my part, I will continue to insist that my students take toothpicks out of their mouths when they speak to me so that their words can be emitted without interference. I will continue to reiterate to them the correct pronunciations of “ask” and “specific” and “asterisks”. Of course, I will subtly correct mispronunciation when I hear them and not tell the offenders outright that “pacifically” is not even a word. Although, as another colleague pointed out, if it was, it would be a beautiful word. Obviously, she has learned that it’s better to be nice.