Yesterday I unintentionally posted something on Facebook that was meant for one of the closed group pages I belong to, one that I try to contribute to daily–a page where one’s ‘gratitude’ is posted for all to see. It’s called Gratitude 365, and it’s a good reminder to stop sometimes, and just say ‘thank you.’
On the average, gratitude posts (mine or others), get a couple or three “likes.” It’s no big deal. The point is to be grateful every day. There is always something to be grateful for! And the process can be life-changing.
Yesterday though, my post got liked by friends I knew not to be in the closed group, and that’s how I discovered that I had posted on the public side. I was embarrassed. My feelings were exposed, and I didn’t like it much.
My initial knee jerk reaction was to cut-and-paste it onto the correct page, Gratitude 365. But for some reason, I didn’t. I decided to sit with that uncomfortable feeling awhile. I felt there might be a lesson here I needed to learn.
Vulnerable…susceptible to being wounded or criticized. The old feeling of “I wonder what others will think?” resurfaced, a sentiment that was often used by my mother during my childhood and adolescence in conjunction with some bonehead thing I’d done. I hated the feeling, and yet I hadn’t posted anything that wasn’t true.
“Good morning, Friends. I’m grateful for sunshine, strong coffee, a furnace that’s working, enough propane, food in the fridge, and good friends. Life is good. God is great. I am thankful.”
The word “God” was used, and I briefly wondered if that was a put-off for some. Or if I’d be judged a religious zealot or holy roller. It really didn’t matter. Today’s another day and yesterday’s post is just a memory.
The uneasy feeling of vulnerability eventually subsided, and I even became comfortable with the feeling of who-cares-what-people-think? I’m on a lifelong journey where I’m trying to find the ‘lesson’ in uncomfortable situations such as this. It’s okay to be open. It’s okay to reveal some things; it’s who I am.
I’m vulnerable, and I am grateful.
